Dear China: Stop Advertising Submachine Guns

mp10player Dear China: Stop Advertising Submachine Guns

Throughout history, the English language has evolved by adopting words that referred to something specific as referring to something broader. Kleenex isn’t just a brand anymore, it’s a product type. MP3, or rather MPEG-1 Audio Layer 3 as it’s really called, has evolved from technically being a single format to a layman’s term for digital music in general. We all use the term MP3 player, as people would get confused if we said Digital Audio Player. MP4 on the other hand was never a video format at all, but rather a media container format. Yet, MP4 is now used by many as a term for video support. Even reputable companies advertise support for MP4, even though that says absolutely nothing about what the player can actually play. Chinese OEM manufacturers use the term even more loosely, applying it to players that can’t even handle any kind of format packaged in a MP4 container. The only thing that saves mainstream users from total confusion is the fact they don’t know why it’s wrong in the first place.

Unfortunately, the Chinese didn’t stop there. MP3 is good, but MP4 is better. Some simple extrapolation should then mean that MP5 players are better yet, right? But when the competitor has MP5 players, then the next thing is to develop a MP6 player. And an MP7 player. In fact, you can buy players that advertise support for everything from MP3 to MP10. Naturally MP10 must be the ultimate in entertainment ever created, at least that’s what the Chinese are trying to get people to think- and it’s working. I’ve heard people use the term MP5 player out in in the real world, and genuinely believed they got a MP5 player that hence must be very good. But what do they actually advertise when they advertise a player that supports everything up to MP10?

MP3 and MP4 is already covered, though the player I linked to with MP10 support actually does not support MP4. MP5 on the other hand, is a rather famous submachine gun produced by Heckler& Koch. I doubt very much the police would be happy if your media player doubled as a submachine gun, but that’s just me. mP6 is a little closer to reality, though since it’s a 12 year old microprocessor I wouldn’t exactly say it’s ground for bragging about. MP7 is yet another submachine gun by Heckler & Koch, and you gotta wonder how much firepower the Chinese think is really necessary to have in a media player. MP8 would be very interesting to see implemented in a media player, but considering it’s a rather expensive and big stage piano it’s more of a niche product. Back into the gun range we have the MP9 machine pistol, developed by Brügger & Thomet and based off the design of the TMP (which MW2 players should be familiar with). If your media player’s two main submachine guns should jam or run out of ammo, at least you’ll have a machine pistol as backup. Last, we have the MP10. I don’t really know what a “touch triggered inspection probe system with optical transmission for machining centres” is, but I’m pretty sure that it’s one feature that iPods don’t have.

So to recap, a player like this that would normally go for about $20 on Chinese sites not only has MP3 support and some sort of video support (though not technically MP4), it also has two submachine guns, a machine pistol, a stage piano, a 12 year old microprocessor and some sort of probe. When you see the prices of some players like the Sony X series you sometime start to wonder if the value for money aspect is completely gone in today’s society, but products like this once again bring hope to my heart.

Seriously though, this kind of product branding is getting ridiculous. As idiotic as it is to all of us who reads ABi, mainstream consumers have no idea what MP3 or MP4 really means and so don’t have any reservations against accepting MP5 or even MP10 as a better product. Hopefully people who do know it’s all a bunch of misleading marketing can help spread the word so we can stop this madness before MP50000 players start appearing as well.




23 Comments

uphaillife on March 21, 2010 3:21 PM

LOL. this was hilarious.

Helton on March 21, 2010 4:00 PM

Here in Brazil those MPx are very popular, we have players varying from the MP3 up to the MP25.They are all cell phone clones, cloned from well known brands, like nokia, blackberry, motorola and mainly apple. Some have quite nice features for the price, like digital TV and Wi-fi, besides the cell phone functionalities of course, but all of them share the same weak points: poor build quality, poorly translated OS and the sluggish and confuse interface.

Binks on March 21, 2010 5:55 PM

haha, best read of the week- cheers guys!

Ricky on March 21, 2010 9:15 PM

haha, greatest post ever!

Jason on March 21, 2010 10:29 PM

Not to nitpick, but holocaust was used to describe massive destruction or slaughter long before WWII, so it doesn’t really fit your point.

Comi on March 21, 2010 11:43 PM

Great job, it’s superb!

Wyn.M on March 22, 2010 12:43 AM

Great article!.The MP# is quite a buzzword these days. So even the likes of big McLaren decided to name the new performance car as – guess what?[ McLaren MP4 ]Link http://www.autoblog.com/gallery/mclaren-mp4-12c-0/

JSV on March 22, 2010 3:37 AM

An MP3 is also a three-wheeled scooter made by Piaggio.

peaceful1 on March 22, 2010 4:38 AM

after my D2 i’ll go for tje MP10haha

lebellium on March 22, 2010 10:49 AM

Ahah so funny^^I’ve quoted on gmp3 ;)

Almoxil on March 23, 2010 7:40 AM

Here in Brazil we’re plagued with these MPx players. Like Helton said, they offer a swiss knife of features but have (very) poor build quality, awkward UI and reliability issues.The funny thing is that the ads displayed when browsing ABi here are mostly from MPx player resellers. There’s even an ad about a MP11 player (!).

someguy on March 23, 2010 10:09 AM

Thank you for writing this article! This has been bugging me for years! Hopefully some manufacturers will notice this article and rethink the whole MPx branding.

johnnie on March 23, 2010 11:24 AM

lol..here in indonesia,there are several type of chinese media players:mp3=a media player that can only play musicmp4=a media player that can play music and videomp5=a media player that can play music and video and has a cameraso i got sad when people call my samsung m1 an mp4 :D

gebal on March 23, 2010 12:48 PM

for the mp7 you might want to link to the english wikipedia rather than the norweigan page. Nicer pictures for the /en.wikipedia pages :P

Andreas Ødegård on March 23, 2010 4:54 PM

@gebal: lol I didn’t even notice… I think I have to leave this country to get away from this retarded language and all the crap it brings in terms of Google IP based search results >.>

Jordan on March 23, 2010 6:14 PM

haha! Chinese wholesale at its best.and those guns remind me of Rainbow Six :D

MrWafflesMonster on March 23, 2010 8:50 PM

Hahahaha, I too have heard people use the term mp5 player…I grilled them! :)

caz01 on March 24, 2010 7:04 AM

MP4 Player – an MP3 player that can play video. lol.

Vladimir on March 24, 2010 12:46 PM

I just couldn’t help myself:”My MP is OVER 9,000!!!”

ashiiya on March 25, 2010 9:10 AM

Up to MP4, I kind of understand, but…..really now? They’re actually thinking of just continuing the go up the numbers? Do THEY even know what those numbers are for? I smh.

Mauricio Fallas on March 30, 2010 11:39 AM

LOLI had the very same conversation about a year ago with a friend where I was telling him how my netbook is actually some kind of MP14 or MP15 since it supports and plays pretty much every existing audio format, most video formats, photos, text, pdfs, has wi-fi, bluetooth, web browser with java and flash, games, webcam and every feature one could want from any chinese manufacturer.

ocsirf on April 12, 2010 1:05 AM

Hey, I used to work in a CNC machining facility that used those MP10 probes! My current employer has machines that use Renishaw probes also, but they are no doubt upgraded versions of the MP10. In your link to Renishaw, you can now see that MP10 is outdated (2002-2003) and they’re up to (O)MP60 (figures)!For those interested, a CNC machine uses a computer “brain” (or an actual computer with an OS, mine use “Windows XP embedded”) to either precisely measure parts (usually with a probe) or machine parts (sometimes using a probe to get some sort of ref. measurement in order to do accurate machining). Looks like in the pictures the probes are measuring a series of holes. Take 3 or more “hits” in the hole, and you get the hole’s location and/or actual diameter, theoretically accurate to within .0001 inch. When the probe touches, it sends an infrared pulse back to a sensor located in the machine, just like a TV remote. Nope, an ipod can’t do that!

Josh on April 24, 2010 2:54 AM

Dammit. What’s worse it’s that some Chinese honestly think that the higher you have after MP, the better it is.I was trying to explain that it doesn’t mean anything, that it’s just a Chinese tactic, but no, he doesn’t get it.

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